UnrezzedDoodler

Forum Closing, Lindal Kidd's final appeal

2010-02-07T02:42:00.000-08:00

Forum the place without lag and plenty of people to chat with will be no more. I am burnt out by SL but I am sad about the changes.

One Last Appeal...

A Letter to the Lindens

Some of you may have read and laughed at Trout Recreant’s hilarious “Letters From the Lindens”, lampooning our Service Provider’s policies and the haphazard ways in which (it seems) they make decisions.

There have been a lot of those over the past year. The Homestead bait and switch, the introduction of themed, Linden-built mainland areas, the ghettoization of Adult Content, “Linden Homes”, the flirtation with FaceBook and Twitter, the purchase of a FaceBook clone, the abolition of the Mentors, and the abolition of the XStreetSL and the official SL Forums.

There’s more on the horizon. The imposition of script limits. A dumbed-down Viewer 2.0. Favored status for some, but not all, content creators.

And of course, some real problems remain unaddressed. Lag. Inventory loss. Failed teleports. Maximum stable concurrency. Content theft and its mirror twin, false accusation of content theft.

With all of that, I thought it was about time that the Residents wrote a letter TO the Lindens. It’s arrogant of me, I know, to place myself in the position of speaking for “the Residents”. We are a diverse group with a wide range of opinions. Still, I think that a great many residents will agree with what I’ve written here.

Dear Linden Lab,

We love Second Life, the virtual world whose infrastructure you created and manage. Although it has many flaws, it’s far and away the best virtual world platform in existence. We want to see it flourish and grow, just as you do. Because of that, we are passionate in our opposition to a number of changes the Lab has made, and is apparently planning to make. We are passionate because we, as the people who are in SL every day, see the damage that they have caused, and greatly fear what damage the new changes will cause.

We are also passionate in our desire for improvements. We see the problems with SL. We are frustrated by them every day. So it angers us to see you ignoring these real problems, and us, in a quixotic quest for “millions of new potential Residents.”

Let’s think about that one for a moment. At present, the grid can only support a maximum concurrency of between 70,000 – 80,000. Somewhere in there, things begin to break and either some functions (transactions, teleports, rezzing) become unstable, or the grid itself goes down. Until that problem is solved, it makes no sense to waste time with policy changes that might (you hope) bring in huge numbers of new users.

SL is a communications platform. As such, it shares some characteristics with MMORPGs, and some with social networking sites like FaceBook. These other platforms and virtual worlds like SL compete for the on line time of a large number of people. But, although they are similar, they are NOT the same, and they have distinctly different strengths and appeal to different segments of that potential audience.

MMORPGs are graphically rich. They have (and users need and demand) high frame rates. They appeal to those who want to play a game, to compete within a fixed and relatively limited rule framework. SL, in contrast, is largely user-created. And it is open-ended, with a very loose framework that lets users pursue the activities they choose. While the graphics performance of a video game would be wonderful to have, SL trades off some of that performance potential in order to gain its distinct advantages.

Social networking sites are all about facilitating connections between people. As such, they are a tool to enhance a user’s life and expand their circle of friends. Such sites are used by people to find potential friends, business associates, lovers, or mates. They are outward-oriented, and closely linked to the real world lives and identities of their subscribers. SL, on the other hand, features anonymity. While users can use it for social networking, and reveal personal information to either those they choose, or to everyone, many Residents use SL as an escape from Real Life. Their SL existence is quite meaningful and real to them, but it is largely separate from, and carried on parallel to, their Real Life.

As users of modern internet connectivity platforms in general, we see the advantages of all three of these types of platforms. MMORPGs are good for entertainment and escape. Social networking sites are good for making connections. However, it is only a true virtual world like Second Life that is usable for both purposes. There are necessary and unavoidable tradeoffs involved in creating such a multipurpose platform.

Because of that, we see it as a grave mistake for SL to try too hard to become either an MMORPG or a social networking tool. For example, in acquiring Avatars United, LL may be opening a door through which many residents will exit the grid in favor of a tool that better suits their main purpose. If LL were to go in another direction, and take control of content creation in order to dramatically improve performance, residents who are interested in creating, or running a business, will depart.

You must pursue the middle ground that you have already staked out. No single application can be everything to everyone, and it is a mistake to squander resources in trying.

What you have is an entertainment platform with (potentially) broad appeal. Instead of trying to force SL into a FaceBook mold, or turn it into WoW, make it the best of its kind.

SL has another unique feature: its economy. This is perhaps SL’s greatest selling point…that people can come here, and leave (if they are skillful and lucky) with more money than they came in with. But this economy is fragile. There are a limited number of products that are possible. By eliminating gambling, you cut off a whole segment of that economy (the fact that it was a legal necessity is irrelevant. It still harmed the economy). By restricting adult content, you are slowly strangling another, larger segment. There are really only three basic commodities in SL: virtual land, content creation, and entertainment.

Linden Lab has ultimate control over all of these. Each policy change or shift you make has an effect on the thousands of merchants who use SL. When considering policy changes, you must do a better job of discussing them in advance with a wide range of Residents than you have so far. We would suggest that you ask yourselves (and us) two questions of any new proposal: “Who will this benefit, and how much?” and “Who will this harm, and how much?” And the “who” that benefits should not be Linden Lab! Not directly.

Any time LL raises fees, or cuts services, it might seem that it’s good for your bottom line. But in the end, if it hurts the SL economy, it hurts LL. If we make money, so do you. If we lose money, or leave the platform, you lose too. Any time LL competes directly with Residents within the SL economy, you ultimately wind up shrinking the economy. Nautilus, Bay City, and Linden Homes are examples of this. Instead of competing with your SL merchants and land barons, you should be developing tools to help them, starting with a better and more robust permissions system and a better process for detecting, reporting, investigating, and resolving content theft.

Here is a short list of what we, the Residents, would like to see you concentrating on in the coming year.

1. Viewer improvements. The enormous popularity of Emerald clearly demonstrates the kind of features your Residents want…and it’s not a dumbed-down viewer, it’s one with more functionality.

2. Lag reduction. Upgrade your servers. Streamline the code. Deal with issues like the notorious sim freeze when Mono scripts arrive via incoming avatars. If you must impose script limits, target the worst offenders…like resizer scripts in every prim of an avatar’s hair or jewelry.

3. Improved content protection. More vigilance in catching and punishing content theft. Improved permissions system, especially for things like textures and scripts that are often incorporated in another product and re-sold.

4. Avatar improvements. We want a better avatar mesh. Better facial expressions. More versatile body morphing. True transparency in the mesh. More flexibility in clothing layers. And one you can do right now, with a simple XML file mod…duplicate Emerald’s secondary attachment points.

5. Improved resident to resident and resident – LL communications. Closing the XStreet forums and the SL VBulletin forums was a move in the wrong direction. The new blogs are not forums, and their format does not support the development of a dedicated forum community. Such communities are an invaluable resource and need to be nurtured and encouraged. You need a better way to collect Resident suggestions and feedback. I would suggest something like the old forum polls, but with the polls coming from you, LL. Office hours don’t allow a large enough cross section of Residents, and feedback via forum or blog threads is too cumbersome to wade through. And, when you talk to us, please learn how to speak in plain , unambiguous English. Corporate weasel-wording does not promote user confidence or trust. Case in point: Creating a new position of “Conversations Manager” immediately prior to eliminating the primary means of carrying on conversations.

6. Improved in world communication tools. In many cases, this means adding the ability to turn OFF communications when desired. Being able to temporarily disable group chat and notices. Improving “Busy” mode to allow content creators some peace and quiet. Add the ability to send a notecard to a group of residents by Shift+click selection in the Friends list or the Calling Card folder. Add the ability to open a conference IM by clicking multiple avatars. Add features like basic text formatting to Notecards. Make them directly exportable into, say, WordPad. Here’s a business-related improvement for you: add support for PowerPoint files.

7. Improved New User Experience. Take back the Infohubs! Develop and implement more community gateways of the caliber of Caledon Oxbridge, or Virtual Ability. Sites with real helpers present, 24/7. Sites that feature in world moderators, with eject/ban powers. Second Life is not for everyone. As a Mentor, I met many people who were really looking for an MMORPG, or a FaceBook. I knew they would not stay long. But I met countless others willing to give this virtual world thing a try. If you can show that audience what SL is all about, what it can be for them, you will see the user base grow steadily.

We need these things. SL needs these things. We need them a lot more than we need a FaceBook tie-in or a free cottage. Your bottom line will thank you.

Sincerely,
Lindal Kidd

(ps: I'm going to be bad and cross post this in the bloggs too.)
__________________
It's still My World and My Imagination! So there.
Lindal Kidd

fourth music video, Tempation by Duo Zikr

2009-08-20T23:41:00.001-07:00

Video Death of Avatar

2009-08-15T02:58:00.000-07:00

Find more music of Duo Zikr and other great musicians at http://www.jamendo.com/
Artwork and photos of my own and my Second life Avatars, and various other dedicated Artist who often go under appreciated and nameless. This video is dedicated to my Second Life Friends and numerous other Second Life Artist. Especially to my friend Mykyl, Alpha, Hunter, the person who will go nameless that gave me my first photoshop when I return back to Second Life after my last break from beta, Auroraskye, and various others who kept me company these last seven years. Here hoping my avatars doesn't die but after numerous years my interest is waning, It time for another reality for bit.

Thank you Duo Zikr for permission to use your music. I plan to make even better videos in future. I claim no rights to music in this song its solely owned by Duo Zikr. And I own no rights to any image that I haven't made personally that showed up in this video. Few items were photos of my friend Alpha and Hunter made. Please forgive me their were numerous other artist and individuals that I don't remember all their names.

Petering out on Second life, my new projects

2009-08-14T17:21:00.000-07:00

I am making storyboards for videos.

I am petering out. If you want to see some of my newer projects look for Dagon Xanith on Youtube or blogger.com

I may come back but I am just tired of Second life right now after all these years.

Long time since I rezzed

2009-06-01T22:34:00.000-07:00

I have been under weather and bit more unrezzed then my average gray self. The virtual shop has changed since the company merged. I need to do more designs and figure out what I want to do next, but I am feeling bit laggy with my health I post something new soon.

Fetlife & Second Life

2008-12-28T10:29:00.000-08:00

Recently I have sort of reaching out new way to connect my human side with some things I have been struggling
with and I created adult oriented blog about my own life and sexuality here
I tried to join one of the groups Fetlife members has for SL but I having difficulty. I realize my computer just not showing things correctly where there should be a "view full profile" it's missing.
My own Dagon blog should be black but its white, the forum page when others show screen shots looks more colorful then mine yet every webpage is white to me.
Here is some screen shots of what I see.

Christmas Freebies

2008-12-25T04:53:00.000-08:00

Christmas is here and I did make some freebies but I am feel too unrezzed to put them in vendor,etc.
I guess I am feeling lazy.

Here is peek of them.

Working on fur lined clothes, Mountains

2008-12-17T02:20:00.000-08:00

Recently I have been sleeping a whole lot tired and unmotivated but I did raise some mountains and attempt some fur textures but I ran into some issues.
Not happy with it and I need to take this free stock white fur and practice drawing it more 3d
Ideally I want to make my own fur but for personal mock up I used it, but its not going to be available anywhere for now until I can draw out my own realistic 3d fur.
Tutorials and I don't go well what usually works for me is drawing out the texture by hand based on texture I am going for and until I understand how it is made.
This is how I have done wood but its far from what I want to be yet.
I tried to make a fuzzy fur texture from tutorial that was geared toward PS 6 but it just didn't work out, so maybe few naps latter I can produce what I want better later.
Here is snapshots of what I have done maybe later I show the hand draw brown fur I made by hand but the repeats just don't look right, included is my mountain climbing adventure scenes.

upclose image is hand drawn 100%

To Hippo or not Hippo ?Offline building

2008-12-10T00:52:00.000-08:00

This is other viewer and another tutorial on how to do stand alone opensource sim bit more complex, vew more steps. It uses the Hippo viewer.
http://imohax.com/2008/11/01/run-opensim-install-build-and-connect-to-windows-standalone/
On my too do list is use this site bit more but the downside is I need to use SL to import or some grid
that will except it.
http://halfpastnull.com/

Stand Alone Sims. Virtual Private Island for nothing, for dummies.

2008-12-07T20:56:00.000-08:00

I have been trying to figure out way for months to figure out how to do Stand alone Sim.
Most of the information is way over my head, so complecated.
Thing is lot of stuff out there when dealing with some subjects is very complex.
If you want to do more complex things it often does seem you need Computer Programing and
Engineering degree.
I am not the smartest cookie out there, I do not have Computer Programing back ground.
I won't be able to script complex things into my Private Island in my Stand alone sim but
I will be able to test textures, build and do some creative things without the dings of instant messages,
neighbors, and pantless grievers with dangly male bits walking through my home trying to hump female guest.
I recently messed with land terraform tools and height wise of the mountains I have found no limit in how
high I can go.
Of course there is somethings that don't work as well as Second Life but for all the years I have been on Second Life or some other virtual world there is always something going buggy.
And then for the space on my private island in Second life I would to paying close to 15,000 usd or more
for the first year and little 9000 usd for following years I had it.
I don't have the know how to do complex things but I have the space on hard drive to do things I would normally have do in Second Life without the distractions of being in Second Life.
I still plan on keeping my tiny 1536 meter lot in Second Life, I still enjoy hanging out with my friends but truthfully I have become spoiled when I was able to have bigger lot and more prims but I am just unwilling to pay the cost for the prims and space.
Anyway these are the steps in how to have a private Island of your own on your own hard drive.
1) Go to http://openlifegrid.com/Downloads/tabid/67/Default.aspx
2) Download the 3dx studio, addons, viewer
Download and Install viewer version R15.1
3)Important step because if you use the 3dxstudio you won't be able to rez prim once you're on the island.
This is what Kitsy from forum told me.
"Navigate into the default installation folder (in Windows this is C:\Program Files\3DX OpenlifeGrid\ 3DXServer Studio Ose) and look for the icon for “OpenSim.32BitLaunch.exe”. Right click on that file and choose “Send To” then from the menu select “Desktop (Create shortcut). Now when you connect with that shortcut your problem should be resolved."
When you run the 3DX server this way, you won't have the pretty GUI, but you should be able to build.

4) For starting the program first time click the Opensim 32bit launch.exe icon on your desktop.
Window in black will pop up with lots of compile data when it is done it will end with this line
OpenSim: Region (root) #:
Go to you Openlife viewer R15.1
When you're at Login screen
type in user name Test User password Password.
To the right of the [Login] button is a drop down menu. In that, choose 'local'
Then hit connect and login.
5) To quit program,
Also, to shutdown the server, you'll need to type the word: quit in the server window.

**When I want to quit the application I quit first the viewer the normal way and and go into the dos window and just hit the X button because it doesn't allow me to type quit. It may I just haven't figured out how but it still works.
Footnote: I finally did figure out where to type quit you need to hit the return button when the flashy line ends type in quit .***

Downside is whenever you login you're going to be Ruthed, your clothes and skin won't stay on when you log out..
And to make the appearance work you need to put on the clothing or skin, body part items in your inventory to get appearance to allow you to change your appearance.
I haven't figured out get poses to work.
There is other things I haven't figured out but mean while there is things to create.
There is lot of wiki's and information that explain how to do this in very complex ways the thing is if you just
want to do basic things don't worry about Myslq or Sqlite.
More complex information here from Rock if you want to read more.
Edit: One of my friends tried this and had error messages and it didn't work the next time I will investigate error messages and why things don't always work.

Newest clothing Experiments

2008-12-02T08:30:00.000-08:00

I have been sort of in weird head space recently.
I created few things this week, done some clothing experiments but it's not exactly yet how I like

it to be but here is sneak peak.

Scenery of Blah

2008-11-23T18:34:00.000-08:00

Have you ever been out on sunny beautiful pixel day water shimmering and just felt blah and
wanted to log off?
That is how I am feeling right now, not exactly sure why at the moment.

But I turned it into a painting

Drama, and Tired

2008-11-20T00:54:00.000-08:00

I came to second life with my own share of deep personal wounds and problems.
I guess I was one of those unfortunate people who had life escape I guess.
I create this one blog as way to share the creations, thing steps of those creations,
things I had hope to sell.
But I feel I have failed and I am tired.
I am just tired of everything and want to give up.
I am tired of struggling for seventy hours a week to make things and my brain and body
never allowing improvement.
I am tired of hitting walls of exhaustion with every attempt I try.
Worse yet is just feeling of helplessness.
Then there is drama.
Sometimes it unavoidable something happens with your health, events happen tear down your self esteem, events or crime happens that leave you victimized and traumatized, partner or family member dies,
you find the love of your life no longer finds you desireable and rather sleep with others.
Those things are part of life sadly.
Then we come into our virtual lives sometimes hoping for more what do we find?
Do we find the good or do we find things that lead us stress, retraumatized?
And of course we always turn of the computer and walk away but the feelings, the attachments, the wounds
are still there.
All the broken dreams still remain.
And it suppose to be just game but for many it was hope for second chance for something else.
Something that I have realized will no longer be.
I don't know what I am going to do but my eyes are opening and I am not sure I like what I see.
I am tired and all I want to do is sleep.
I don't feel their is any hope left.
I realize on some level we may be responsible for our realities, some are better at improving
and changing their reality.
Then their are people like myself where may their is no hope for and either way any wishes
I have had for my life just seems like fantasies now that will never be.
I am starting to see perhaps this is truth about my life regardless of reality.
I realize maybe the truth is even my friends aren't my friends as I wrote in my private blog
the following entry under "Bullies, abusers, giving in and give up"
My partner warned me that may none of these people who said they cared about truly cared,
that just maybe he is right but I don't know any more.
I guess I don't want to believe it because if I believed it meant all the kindness was sheer pity gifts
and meant very little about the condition of humanity improving and hope for me to have something better.
I am tired. I know I wouldn't put drama any more here but I am just fed up and it not like
there is very many people at the moment I can takl too so I am putting it out here.
Bullies, Abusers, Giving in and Giving up
Sad that even amongst my circle of friends their are Bullies and those who allow it to happen.
No one ever stands up them.
They secretly complain or placate then don't do anything abut it.
Worse yet is they buddy up with these people in name of love and caring when their basically
drama queens and bullies.
I have tried to be sensitive to my friends, I have lot going on in my own life.
I don't want to ruin their fun so I keep to myself.
I do what I can to not be burden to them especially so I don't have to listen to their snide comments.
I understand some comments are made in jest because they've reached their limits.
Some comments are productive, helpful, some are not.
I am fed up. Perhaps it time to move on, to move on to somewhere no one knows me so that I am not
burden to anyone.
I am fed up with people who I have called friends who speak of noble things and then allow
certain things to continue like it not worth their time or they don't want to get messy and ruin their
fun.
I haven't decide what I am going to do but their is going to be change.
That means also things with FD is going to be changing for lot of you.
I am tired.
While I love and appreciate you all, I am so tired, I am so tired of it all and things must change.
And if they don't change there will be no more FD.
I am fed up. I am fed up trying. I give up.

Doodling with photos, FD's first photos

2008-11-09T20:40:00.000-08:00

I am learning how to do doodles with my first camera and photos.

PG ratings, Mature ratings, Erotic confessions, Music

2008-11-05T01:02:00.000-08:00

Some people get into online cyber sex, some like poseballs.
I am not really into that, most of time I lead a very rated PG life.
Yet there are some things and times I am not rated PG.
One I like erotic music and even erotic art. This is why I have this blog
has adult warning.(Edit: but then I realized there is a whole of nude and mature
content out there in blogger.com that doesn't so why should I? I just put warnings
on each post if its not work safe or has nudity.)
I have been feeling very stressed out and decided not to login into SL
today.
I moved to PG rated land recently so my favorite music channels I can't listen to while in SL
for now and even when I do find a few they just are not always sensual enough for my liking..
I have been trying to find more erotic music I can listen to for while for
when I am in the mood.
Stumble upon this in search, http://www.rhapsody.com/erotic
Still looking but it has some nice songs, romantic, sensual and erotic dance, gothic.
and electronic influenced music there.
It will do and create some diversions:)
This is funny video, has cartoon nudity and song is ab called Help me Doctor Dick.
This video has cartoon nudity and adult language in it.

Aww the struggle of mainland

2008-10-30T17:58:00.000-07:00

I have been having hard time with the changes in Huin and Nakji.
I am trying to decide what to do, do I take the plunge and go up in tier or do I sell, reduce
and find another option.
I am sad, I am sad about how things seem to have changed for the worse.
I love creating, doodling and my friends in SL but I am wonder the impact of my SL
would be if I don't expand.
Someone messaged me named Holocluck and shared his blog about his own land struggles on mainland.
He came from Cybertown, one of my first virtual worlds.
Bookmarking a new blog to read.
http://holocluck.blogspot.com/

Doodle Baroque Robe, Being Pizza Host

2008-10-27T03:28:00.000-07:00

Well here goes nothing I put this up at onrez.
Friends said I should charge more, because if you charge more People will see more value in it.
But I thought gee how many times have I paid 300 to 500L$ for item I just wasn't happy with
the design from some unknown Designer to me.
I rather have buyers get to know my products and develope some degree in trust in what I am making
first, to feel good about products.
So until regular buyers of my products it would best for now to keep prices below 50L until I actually have more People buying things.
I also allowed myself to become a Pizza Host for Kahni's Pizza.
There so few places where you can play games and have fun I want to support this in whatever
fashion I can be it even as host.
So now I am hosting at Neko's cove tommorow at 8 pm to 10 pm SL time.
I am hoping I have enough L$ to keep in pizza game money to host.
If you want to buy this Doodle Baroque Robe come on over here to get it at Onrez.

We see if I can get better at multi-tasking. Hehehe.

Silence, Change and Finding the magic

2008-10-23T19:10:00.000-07:00

This also can apply for Second life. I wrote this for my private uncensored blog.
How does it apply you may ask because at least for me being in Second Life or online is often
one of few places I can my voice and connections.
Sometimes the connections seem like unrezzed disconnections, where I am typing to myself
in the silence, but sometimes their is connection, then their is a chain reaction.
This is from private blog.

Silence, Change and Finding the magic by FD Spark.

I spent most of my night trying to read about others experiences, to trying find understanding
and meaning through others with my own personal struggles.
I found on my search a lot of powerful words.
Like it isn't rude to speak up set boundaries, that I am not alone in my struggles with who I am,
what I desire, etc.
I also found this very inspiritation Black Lesbian Activitst, Poet named Audre Lorde.
It was hard for her to speak her mind, to fight against the forces who saw no value in her
because of her skin color, gender and sexuality but she became college educated, a Teacher,
Poet and spoke her own truth.
I didn't know much about her or her influence first hand but I can only imagine.
She wrote:
"I have come to believe over and over again, that what is most important to me must be spoken, made verbal and shared, even at the risk of having it bruised or misunderstood.... My silences had not protected me. Your silence will not protect you.... and while we wait in silence for that final luxury of fearlessness, the weight of that silence will choke us. The fact that we are here and that I speak these words is an attempt to break that silence and bridge some of those differences between us, for it is not difference which immobilizes us, but silence. And there are so many silences to be broken."
Audre Lorde (The Transformation of Silence into Language and Action, Sister Outsider).
Sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is speak our truth, regardless if shunned, silenced or
no one gets it or sees value in it.
Lot of people didn't see at time value in what she wrote, they discouraged her but she persisted.
Sometimes when we do the little things in every day life like speak our own truths, don't go a long
with status quo, follow what we believe is true even when others may not get it in our special way
just maybe because we are there speaking out, not comply with whatever is currently believed we
are small tools of change.
If some one hadn't spoken out against racism, sexism or numerous other injustice, and continued to do so
their may never been the changes we see today.
I often think how can I, just one person who is very insignificant, a freak, poor, little value truly make difference in world around me.

I don't see anything I am doing that really make a impact on others.
My artwork is unnoticed, I am only important to those closest to me.
How can I really make a change?
I have no real words or educate to debate intelligently against those who have education, all their brain cells
their, my brain often feels like its running on 64 mb memory chip where everyone elses in the terabytes.
I am no one.
Yet maybe sometimes we can touch someone in small ways even being no one, we can touch them
so deeply they will find new dreams, new magic, perhaps they can find their own voice and break
the silence of their lives and speak their own truths.
And as they speak up, someone else will be impacted and so on, and so on.
They will find new ways to express the magic, the power within themselves, new ways to create something
wondrous and this will affect another, then another and so on until infinity even though the orginal who inspired
the first has been long forgotten.
It doesn't matter that person was forgotten because in small way the magic still exist when they influenced that one person who influenced another to find their voice, find their magic, find the change in their own lives.
It doesn't matter was remembered, famous or celebrity but what matters more is the impact they had
inspired one person's heart, soul and mind.
Friends. may you find one person you inspire in some small way to find laughter, joy or their own voice that broke the silence and spoke and felt truly heard.
Sometimes in world full of disconnections, where one often feels alone, unheard, typing to themselves in world
of silence, there is something magical about truly hearing someone else, truly making a connection in some
small way that lessens the isolation of the disconnected sea of souls that exist in vast sea of unseeable
connected entities that exist in so many places that do not see their own connections to each other.

Inspired by Pizza

2008-10-20T07:33:00.000-07:00

I haven't been creating much other then pushing few prims around for this new house
I am experimenting building in last week it seems.
But I got this idea for Chef Custom so this is my newest creation.

I may find tune it more.

Is this good enough for a Freebie?

2008-10-10T15:28:00.000-07:00

I have made numerous items but they have had issues minor glitches<
that the perfectionist in me doesn't find them worthy of be
sold.
Sarah Nerd is looking for new freebies.
Wonder if this outfit or numerous others are salvagable for giving
as freebies?

Crashing, good and bad type

2008-10-04T16:09:00.000-07:00

Some things are just hard for me to deal with in Second and First life.
Some thing I just don't seem to know always how to figure out.
Sometimes it just best to let go and do something else.
I have been trying to figure out media player in Second Life but soon as I get tiny bit of clue what to do I start to crash.
I have been crashing ever since.
Tried to login numerous times last night, even this afternoon twice and now
I am fed up.
So I am watching soothing crashing waves.
Of course I wish I could figure out how to not crash in Second Life and figure out how to get these waves in the viewer but for now all I have is these waves to watch

Same Mistakes & Sucide Agenda

2008-10-03T02:45:00.000-07:00

Mood and thoughts sems to be around making the same mistakes over and over
again. I am bit down I guess, feeling generally discouraged.
Song from Jame Blunt seems fitting

The Faint-Agenda Suicide

Moved, Installing Public Toilet room

2008-09-30T22:07:00.000-07:00

I recently closed my "uncensored" blog the older Unrezzed Gray Reality blog due to it may be too grumpy and emo for public viewing for just anyone.
I have meant to update some of photos here that also include adult content related images
but I haven't yet been bit distracted.
That is why the adult content setting is set.
Some of my images are very adult related and may not be for everyone or work safe.
Most of my work though is very rated G.
I relocated and I am working on new level for my gallery and shop.
It has been while since I built anything so the prims are little
crooked as my friend Alpha calls it "cheerful"
The toilet is hand drawn
by me.
It look bit distorted with bigger
size and didn't look quite right
having hug toilet hanging over
the restroom door.
Bathroom gives me opportunity
to show off the urinal, shaving sinks and the toilets made by friends Hunter and Auroraskye.
Rest of area is going to be store and gallery space. Yes like Second Life needs another
store or gallery but if nothing else it give me another place to display my work.
I will put up slurl when it's closer to being finished.

Adult content setting

2008-09-21T03:57:00.000-07:00

I added adult content setting because some of my art below is adult related.
I haven't been blogging here much but I will probably again.

Uninspired, Emo guys seeks to not care.

2008-07-27T02:38:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted much because I am just feeling too emotional these days.
I think it would be easier to just not care.
Song is fitting for my mood right now.
Dirtbag by Brad Sucks
it’s a little bit hard to understand
but i only wanna be a modern man
on the wire it couldn’t be nicer
just thinking about the one that got away
nobody wanna give me heart away
you could make your mind up it could take your time up
it seems you’ve mistaken me for someone who cares
I’m just a dirt bag under the weather and overrated
living underground taking it to the scene
making money not knowing what it means
I’m a liar set shit on fire
take your time talking down to all your friends
living with the little dogs and elephants
it’s hard to find it but i don’t mind it
it seems you’ve mistaken me for someone who cares
i’m just a dirt bag under the weather and overrated
hitching a ride with the bugs and the flies and I’m on my own
hitching a ride with the bugs and the flies and I’m on my own
hitching a ride with the bugs and the flies and I’m on my own
hitching a ride with the bugs and the flies and I’m on my own

I am in your Clubhouse eating your free kittens

2008-06-06T21:09:00.000-07:00

Me as a bull dog
avoiding work and real life
hanging out at the Forum
Cartel's club house.

Dagon Inkwork's FD Spark's Doodles

2008-06-06T13:29:00.000-07:00

Dagon Inkwork's FD Spark'sDoodles in Etopia Prime
is one of my stores.
I have several under construction one in Faeria
village in Huin, Doodle Garden& House in West Haven,
Dagon & Friends in Shermerville NW.
My sign I have changed about 3 times now
The photo up above is second attempt.
It is replaced with a third design.
Photo below is day time.
I still need to fill up. I am sharing the shop
right now with Auroraskye cause I am still
working on things and it seems a waste have
empty store while I am being perfectionist trying
to put in content I think is "perfect" enough.

Design experiments

2008-05-26T16:27:00.001-07:00

The photos are done by Alpha.
There is more but to save space not putting them all here.
My uncensored blog has the mistakes that I need to
correct.

Texture Experiment Doodle House

2008-05-24T16:09:00.000-07:00

These images are from one of my building
display areas in West Haven near the sims main teleport
area.
Still got some work to do on it though.

more doodle experiments for landy

2008-05-11T00:16:00.000-07:00

Doodles of clothes

2008-05-10T14:24:00.000-07:00

shapeshifting, learning and UV Experiments

2008-05-03T23:55:00.001-07:00

Tired but had to share my recent new experiments in working with
painting on UV layer.
FD has gender and shaped shifted in to Furious Dyke, Punk Amazon
warrior butchette promoting non-traditional style to all non traditional
Male and Female avatar shape shifters every where.
Meanwhile there is UV suit and Photoshop battles to master and battle
and my nipples and the jewelery, bra lines to figure out.
My nipples are showing but only because I am cold and the nipple are
needing more 3d appearance to show how platonically erect they are under
my bra.

Mouse traced and painted Tuilips

2008-05-01T05:02:00.000-07:00

Craftsman style site

2008-04-27T22:03:00.000-07:00

In my searches I found interesting site with lot of ideas on Craftsman Style homes
and decor.
Included is lots of black and white images great for me to practice drawing rooms,
stain glass, and fabrics.
There is pretty much every type of design idea in this site all in black and white
images also great for "recoloring" the textures.
Although I am uncertain of who owns the copyright of these images although
images look like they are possibly now in public domain.
I will probably when my energy and time permits it use the site for drawing practice
and to assist me in making better virtual stain glass.
http://www.craftsman-style.info/

Jewels on Clothes, FD grows some Boobs

2008-04-24T13:54:00.001-07:00

More images in unrezzed reality, the uncensored thoughts of FD Spark.

Experimenting with Perspective

2008-04-15T21:06:00.000-07:00

Working on 3d Art images and perspective....its little off.
Colors changed in side view.
I need to reduplicate this but its one of my experiments.
I was having bit off day so this didn't turn out as well as I like.

No Hair up Your Butt Cornrows

2008-04-13T23:46:00.001-07:00

My alt's and mine first hair.
No clue if it will sale but I can't keep renting
in Etopia without some type of income.

gadgets & doodling in my blog

2008-04-11T04:35:00.000-07:00

Self portrait done at the bottom of page.
Okay now its bedtime...soon, maybe I will procrastinate little more.
FD's Fruit....ok don't tell Alpha I am still up practicing html.

Hand Drawn Room Illusions

2008-03-25T09:46:00.001-07:00

Background of this room is a transparent, hand drawn
bathroom and kitchen.
I still need to do some fine tuning on stove flames perhaps
some food on counters...
But I am tired not sure when I will get around to this.
This is me and few friends having Chocolate Icecream with
whip cream.

Hand Drawn wood & Easter Dress

2008-03-23T12:42:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter

Pirate Kitten visits 3rd Life

2008-03-17T06:57:00.001-07:00

I must confess I don't shop much but yesterday I went to
Tiny Village that sold tinies and spent a whole lot of money
buying tiny Avatars made by Cat Masala.
Thought it would be funny to show the Ginger Pirate
kitten in 3rd Life garden area I have been working.
The orange image which isn't seen really well here
is image Etapalli did of me with my other avatar I often
like to wear because I love Dark Dhrama short hair style
and baby face is in photo.
I am very picky shopper but it was fun to have more tinies.
I end up buying black kitten, ginger kitten, badger, bull dog
avatar and pirate outfit.

Experiment with Paint.net

2008-03-14T13:33:00.001-07:00

First day experiment I did the room. Today I experimented with different
tools made rose but as you see in the letter to my Dearest Mouse there
was some issues.
I guess its just my inexperience with tool right now.
Got little cranky about it so I decided turn it into a joke and
find some humor in my difficulty.
The tools are different in some ways but like I can't automatic merge images
when I want or I just don't know how.
Emboss behaves differently too.

Can't Texture map this so I am Sinking My Ships

2008-03-08T08:37:00.000-08:00

Grids GRR.
Taunt me you grid texture maps.
I will show you going to drown you in
the tiny sea,

Third Life Rembered

2008-03-06T09:29:00.001-08:00

A while back ago I had this idea when I saw my friend
with tiny magic box. I thought why not make a tiny city
based on this place called Third Life I had been imaging.
It's been slow going and very grumpifying projects.
Yet last night and this morning I got inspired to do tiny garden
are with tiny shrine that looks like grave for tiny pixie skeleton,
grave stones and thinking of another building but its unfinished.
Most of design is all textures with few textured Magnolia tree prims
I made a while back ago.

Creating Damask covered furniture & textures

2008-03-04T13:29:00.001-08:00

The chair with lines my friend
did the rest I did with new
texture experiment I made
that resembles Damask.
I am sorry photo not very
good.
I am dead tired and I have
been up way past bedtime.

A very, very long experiment

2008-03-03T06:32:00.001-08:00

I must confess sometimes
I do google for texture
ideas to draw.
I found this Rug during
search for 15th century
fashion for ideas.
And I found myself having
this need to trace the
detail of the fabric.
It doesn't or won't end up
look like the exact rug yet
I found myself spending
over 8 hours tracing every
part of the rug.
Best source of ideas I often
find are through Museums
Online or Historical site because
most of the most beautiful
textures are found in history yet I did also find this incredibly site I wish I had bookmarked
of this artist who uses needle and thread to create incredible detailed images.
Too tired to find it right now.

Unbuyable Revisited-Hand drawn Clothing Rack

2008-02-29T09:48:00.000-08:00

This is hand drawn clothing rack.
How did I make it?
These are my notes just in case
my brain goes into lag and freeze
mode and I forget.
I am using terms that I can
remember it may be confusing
and unclear to anyone without
clear understand of layer effects.
So forgive me if I lose you
writing this.
The only step I am sure I did first
was number 1, memory is crashing
so it's all bit foggy at the moment.
Often I repeat and blurred the steps
but these are what I remember.
1) I drew it out in one layer in
black for first layer.
2) I used previous texture I had as second layer.
I had velvet clothing experiment
I had made few months back
I used over the dark lines.
3)Then I erased the areas around the clothes to make background
transparent.
4) Then with each following layer I added different color layers.
White for shininess. Often I had to repeat adding white
transparent layers to get the look right.
At first the white just
added new dimension to the fabric but after adding a new detail I would
go back and add another white layer experiment with what degree the transparency
needed to be.
Often I used the normal effect after deciding for this it was best looking
personally for what I was doing.
5)White ruffles I used several layers of white layer with desolve effect selected,
adjusting transparency to show the black.
Then with another white layer I selected
Bevel & Emboss to add another level.
6) Add new colors that with blend into the effect of clothing I want, experiment
more with layers effects and transparent levels to see what works best.
Add more white highlights, details as I go, explore what works.
Forgot to add new levels so I had to correct few things with more color.
7) The bra was combination of White. off-white, few other colors.
I used Bevel & Emboss there too. I had problems though with drawing
the corset strings right had to experiment to get at least close to effect
I wanted.
Realized Bra need bit more definition added black Desolve layer at very
low transparency
8) Buttons yellow with embossed too.
I hand painted on the layers adjusting the layers for different textured effects.
9)When I was done I used Grey Gradient with Bevel and
Emboss inside a square shape to create the rack.
What I couldn't create with preset
square shapes or circle cut outs I hand drew it.
**If I had to do it over I would have put in the clothing rack first and used more
layers.
Reminder to save more, do more layers
Hand draw better corset strings.
Most of all I just experimented, made sure I had many layers just in case
I made mistakes until I got the look I wanted.
So now the big question do these Clothes will they make my butt bigger.

Curtain Experiments:Adding shininess

2008-02-29T01:02:00.000-08:00

WB suggested I
experiment with layer
effects so this
experiment I drew
in white lines over
the curtains.
Using layer effects
like Normal, Color Dodge,
Hard Mix and various
others with different
degree of transparency
to see what would happen.
Some of the curtains
appeared more like the shiny silk drapes I was going for then others.
Some of the curtains I need to add darker tones to highlight the curtain ties.
WB took a photo of the earlier yesterday texture experiments in WL.
Not to self link WB's flicker stream to here.

Grave by FD Spark, Drawing Experiment

2008-02-28T16:55:00.001-08:00

Diary of Creating stuff: TSO, Sims, Curtain Experiments

2008-02-27T03:47:00.000-08:00

My boyfriend suggest I write down the steps for the things I make
so I can go back later but I often don't.
So here is attempt to explain. I hope to do more of this here.
I am no pro, I am just stumbler who likes creating.
I do layers often I experiment with darker gradients using Desolve
then on another layer in lighter tone I draw out the lines and
on following layers continue to do similar shading.
I tried to use a texture today from older texture experiment I had
tried but only some of it showed up.
One was flower pattern I had done months and the other was
pink wrinkled texture that I end up having to use smudge tool
I used to create some type of pattern that fit with the wrinkles.
The pattern I will post later for anyone to use.
I am contemplating rezzing FD Spark in TSO for little bit.
Years ago the sims was how I got started making art and creating.
I use to do custom builds for people in TSO.
The building tools are very simple there and often I felt very
limit in what I could do there.
TSO was sort of my first introduction to online worlds like SL but
I left do to burn out.
Footnote; I made FD Spark TSO account in frustration uninstalled
everything after five tries due to fact I couldn't get anything
to update right.
No thanks not interested in paying to be beta tester so I can
try to figure out how to bitmap chairs and few paintings
for a few simeoleans.
And my original account and cd is no more and I cannot retrieve it
because I gave it away the account threw the cd a way.

Baby FD, my first avatar bought

2008-02-26T05:16:00.000-08:00

This is my first avatar skin
I ever bought I dragged it out today.
I have had lot of adventures this week
but too sleepy to share them now.

Will Doodle for Uploads

2008-02-20T22:32:00.001-08:00

Seven uploads latter I got
the cabinet way I like.
One image is the png file
and the other is image of
snap shot in world in gallery
in Faeria Village in Huin.
I have no clue why I am
doing these displays
but it was fun experiment.

FD tries to pee

2008-02-18T23:00:00.000-08:00

After a fail attempts
at setting up a
display I decided
my avatar really
needs to pee more.
Alpha helped me
with the pose.
I need to figure
it out bit more though
by myself eventually.
I downloaded Qavimator
and I need to review the guide.
http://wiki.qavimator.org/index.php/Beginner%27s_Guide

Faces & Wheel chair Races

2008-02-16T23:46:00.000-08:00

After apply ice wrap prims on Twinkle's sore knee, adjusting
Doctor FD's Cheerfully Misalligned Granny Walker and watching
Master Primologist, Nurse Alpha make prim crutches
I was given a really cool freebiea Wheel Chair Car.
I immediately began to race around Nakji.
The speed and movement of the wheel chair open entire new
world I hadn't know was possible since often I am hobbling
a long in most places in SL.
I didn't believe this fun device was dangerous when Twinkle
told me so.
The wheel chair zooms around very fast and I lost my wheel chair in
another sim literally stuck.
I had to relog but got distracted by left over piece of chicken by time
I returned Twinkle had hobbled to bed.
I raced around Nakji, zooming in and out all Alpha's and other people's
creations including Jewel's Greenhouse, Moondust's chair, Alpha's
various cool prim creations.
It was so fun. No wonder why people wish there were roads and places
they can travel on prims through out SL.
I never really got it until now.
Earlier I had made some faces for baby dolls. I
like how they turned out except
for the speckles of pixels not sure how that happen.
The faces look bit too mature and I need to re-think the design.
I will have to fix it soon.

FD & His first big comfy wingchair

2008-02-16T03:31:00.000-08:00

Top chair
is better texture
and bit more
tweaking.
I didn't make
the texture
felt to lazy.
It is 11 prims
and was based
on image
I found on
the web and
my friend
choose to make
the dragonfly chair
and I choose this one.
The bottom images
is when it was first made the seat cushions are bit crooked.

Please Don't Steal Roses

2008-02-15T08:46:00.001-08:00

FD jr swims with the fishies

2008-02-14T19:40:00.001-08:00

Today FD jr, Mykyl, Twinkle and I went exploring I had been at this plash
called Splash Aquatics. I wanted to pick up some turtles.
I got briefly lost and Twinkle tp-ed me and I ended
up in the water. FD jr need a change of blanket and Landy was coming over
so I had to go change his wet blanket and go off visit Landy.
Lots of fun was had by all.

Baby Swaddled Faeries need homes

2008-02-14T05:01:00.000-08:00

Faerie Stork has arrived
here is preview of
adoptable free 2 to
3 prim babies.
The photos
need some work
and I need to do
some tweeking
I think.

Grand Opening

2008-02-13T03:28:00.001-08:00

Hunger has limits

2008-02-12T19:00:00.000-08:00

New Blog's Purpose

2008-02-12T15:13:00.000-08:00

This blog will be for sharing my images and things of those I have created and
those who I have invited who are close to me to share their art. images.
It won't have the depth or intensity of my other blogs.
It will have filtered words seen in many blogs, nothing personal, nothing too deep.
It will not have me emoting all over place like my other
blogs in past.
I will not bore you with tales of woe or struggles I am having.
I will be strictly for sharing images of things I have created, nothing more, nothing less.
Images will be of things I don't mind sharing but I ask very kindly if you use any of the images
you ask first and do not use for commercial purposes.
If you see things you really like and would like to donate for my upload cost in Second life.
If you want to a custom texture or you see something you want use for personal use you can do so providing you don't claim them as your own and give me credit for the design but please ask before snatching images.
You are free to contact me within Second Life or here.
I have decided to use this blog on focusing on the things that make me happy.
Creating and doing Art makes me happy.