Thursday, October 30, 2008

Aww the struggle of mainland

I have been having hard time with the changes in Huin and Nakji.
I am trying to decide what to do, do I take the plunge and go up in tier or do I sell, reduce
and find another option.
I am sad, I am sad about how things seem to have changed for the worse.
I love creating, doodling and my friends in SL but I am wonder the impact of my SL
would be if I don't expand.
Someone messaged me named Holocluck and shared his blog about his own land struggles on mainland.
He came from Cybertown, one of my first virtual worlds.
Bookmarking a new blog to read.
http://holocluck.blogspot.com/

Monday, October 27, 2008

Doodle Baroque Robe, Being Pizza Host

Well here goes nothing I put this up at onrez.
Friends said I should charge more, because if you charge more People will see more value in it.
But I thought gee how many times have I paid 300 to 500L$ for item I just wasn't happy with
the design from some unknown Designer to me.
I rather  have buyers get to know my products and develope some degree in trust in what I am making
first, to feel good about products.
So until regular buyers of my products it would best for now to keep prices below 50L until I actually have more People buying things.
I also allowed myself to become a Pizza Host for Kahni's Pizza.
There so few places where you can play games and have fun I want to support this in whatever
fashion I can be it even as host.
So now I am hosting at Neko's cove tommorow at 8 pm to 10 pm SL time.
I am hoping I have enough L$ to keep in pizza game money to host.
If you want to buy this Doodle Baroque Robe come on over here to get it at Onrez.
We see if I can get better at multi-tasking. Hehehe.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Silence, Change and Finding the magic

This also can apply for Second life. I wrote this for my private uncensored blog.
How does it apply you may ask because at least for me being in Second Life or online is often
one of few places I can my voice and connections.
Sometimes the connections seem like  unrezzed disconnections, where I am typing to myself
in the silence, but sometimes their is connection, then their is a chain reaction.
This is from private blog.

Silence, Change and Finding the magic by FD Spark.

I spent most of my night trying to read about others experiences, to trying find understanding
and meaning through others with my own personal struggles.
I found on my search a lot of powerful words.
Like it isn't rude to speak up set boundaries, that I am not alone in my struggles with who I am,
what I desire, etc.
I also found this very inspiritation Black Lesbian Activitst, Poet named Audre Lorde.
It was hard for her to speak her mind, to fight against the forces who saw no value in her
because of her skin color, gender and sexuality but she became college educated, a Teacher,
Poet and spoke her own truth.
I didn't know much about her or her influence first hand but  I can only imagine.
She wrote:
"I have come to believe over and over again, that what is most important to me must be spoken, made verbal and shared, even at the risk of having it bruised or misunderstood.... My silences had not protected me. Your silence will not protect you.... and while we wait in silence for that final luxury of fearlessness, the weight of that silence will choke us. The fact that we are here and that I speak these words is an attempt to break that silence and bridge some of those differences between us, for it is not difference which immobilizes us, but silence. And there are so many silences to be broken."
Audre Lorde (The Transformation of Silence into Language and Action, Sister Outsider). 

Sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is speak our truth, regardless if shunned, silenced or 
no one gets it or sees value in it.
Lot of people didn't see at time value in what she wrote, they discouraged her but she persisted.
Sometimes when we do the little things in every day life like speak our own truths, don't go a long
with status quo, follow what we believe is true even when others may not get it in our special way
just maybe because we are there speaking out, not comply with whatever is currently believed we
are small tools of change.
If some one hadn't spoken out against racism, sexism or numerous other injustice, and continued to do so
their may never been the changes we see today.
I often think how can I, just  one person who is very insignificant, a freak, poor, little value truly make difference in world around me.

I don't see anything I am doing that really make a impact on others.
My artwork is unnoticed, I am only important to those closest to me.
How can I really make a change?
I have no real words or educate to debate intelligently against those who have education, all their brain cells
their, my brain often feels like its running on 64 mb memory chip where everyone elses in the terabytes.
I am no one.
Yet maybe sometimes we can touch someone in small ways even being no one, we can touch them
so deeply they will find new dreams, new magic, perhaps they can find their own voice and break
the silence of their lives and speak their own truths.
And as they speak up, someone else will be impacted and so on, and so on.
They will find new ways to express the magic, the power within themselves, new ways to create something
wondrous and this will affect another, then another and so on until infinity even though the orginal who inspired
the first has been long forgotten.
It doesn't matter that person was forgotten because in small way the magic still exist when they influenced that one person who influenced another to find their voice, find their magic, find the change in their own lives.
It doesn't matter was remembered, famous or celebrity but what matters more is the impact they had
inspired one person's heart, soul and mind.
Friends. may you find one person you inspire in some small way to find laughter, joy or their own voice that broke the silence and spoke and felt truly heard. 
Sometimes in world full of disconnections, where one often feels alone, unheard, typing to themselves in world
of silence, there is something magical about truly hearing someone else, truly making a connection in some
small way that lessens the isolation of the disconnected sea of souls that exist in vast sea of unseeable
connected entities that exist in so many places that do not see their own connections to each other.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Inspired by Pizza

I haven't been creating much other then pushing few prims around for this new house
I am experimenting building in last week it seems.
But I got this idea for Chef Custom so this is my newest creation.
I may find tune it more.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Is this good enough for a Freebie?


I have made numerous items but they have had issues minor glitches<
that the perfectionist in me doesn't find them worthy of be
sold.
Sarah Nerd is looking for new freebies.
Wonder if this outfit or numerous others are salvagable for giving
as freebies?

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Crashing, good and bad type

Some things are just hard for me to deal with in Second and First life.
Some thing I just don't seem to know always how to figure out.
Sometimes it just best to let go and do something else.
I have been trying to figure out media player in Second Life but soon as I get tiny bit of clue what to do I start to crash.
I have been crashing ever since.
Tried to login numerous times last night, even this afternoon twice and now
I am fed up.
So I am watching soothing crashing waves.
Of course I wish I could figure out how to not crash in Second Life and figure out how to get these waves in the viewer but for now all I have is these waves to watch

Friday, October 3, 2008

Same Mistakes & Sucide Agenda

Mood and thoughts sems to be around making the same mistakes over and over
again. I am bit down I guess, feeling generally discouraged.
Song from Jame Blunt seems fitting

The Faint-Agenda Suicide